SERIES: Buharism and the Fierce Urgency of Now

PART SEVEN

CURRENT ARRANGEMENT IN THE CURRENT DISPENSATION

Initially it was supposed to be a Hausa-Fulani and Yoruba Alliance as it actually remained so throughout the campaign period culminating in the COUPTIMIDATION of March 28th, 2015 in which the king who had travelled to a far off land was ushered back in pomp and pageantry and was handed back the keys to throne without ARGUEMENT by the then tenant-king GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN until as we have been predicting and actually analysing using our 'oracular beads', HURRICANE JUNE 9, whose force was greater than the TSUNAMI came and swept the Yorubas off their feet with the waves of HURRICANE JUNE 9 hurling its victims against all sorts of trees, boulders, broken down vehicles, the debris and every metal/steel and woods it has continued to forcefully carry along in the eye of the storm!

It was a wonder it had to be Shola's suckling from the AXIS OF PENDULUM/AXIS OF POLITICAL PROSTITUTION. There are many stories surrounding the cause of that TSUNAMI sparked by the mere and ordinary small boy still clutching his political feeding bottle in his mouth as he sucked/drank the pap therein - some people said he was just fiddling with something thinking it was a water toy, others said he learnt the rope from his old man, elder Shola, THE FOXY FOX OF KWARA, others said just one man, em, em one FATMAN - populary known and called FATTY MAN coached him on the hows of politics, I mean the ART AND SCIENCE OF POLITICAL TREACHERY and they said dey man also gave Elder Sola's pikin him magic book to read - HOW TO PLAN A COUP IN A DEMOCRACY and very dangerous books of his such as HOW TO KILL A MAN IN THE TIME OF LIFE; HOW TO DESTROY A GREEDY MAN; HOW TO KILL A MAN WHEN HIS LIFE IS SWEETEST TO HIM, etc, etc.

Recounting the story of elder Shola's boy's and his friend, Dogara, two popular tabloids in Bukolaland and Dogaraland notorious for their sensational-alliterative and eye-catching headlines hilariously captured their headlines thus: Bukola gun won ni iso lori (Bukola nailed them on the head!), Dogara ti gba won lati! (Dogara slapped them on the face).
Making fun out of it, the poverty-stricken people of the two clans would later amuse themselves by nicknaming both rebels variously as SENATOR GUN WON NI ISO/GUN MI NI ISO/GUN MI/GUN WON and HON GBAMI LETI/HON GBA WON LETI/GBA WON!

And the Opposite man one Ekwere was given the sobriquet: SENEATOR FOOD IS READY or for short FOOD IS READY/FIR and it was said the womenfolks in Ekwereland notorious for their light-hearted humour gave him the name COME CHOP or SENATOR COME CHOP or just COME CHOP SENATOR!
However, in this chaotic cobweb-like crisis, some clan elders in all of the clans involved in the messy-mess were said to have remembered a time in some distant generations when as the fate of all young persons who will not wait for their time, but try to run faster than their Creator were taken to a crocodile-infested river called CHOP CROCODILE were taken there by the venerable elders of the land who were mainly members of the aristocratic dance society - OGRINYA and thrown into the mysterious river and each told to eat five crocodiles and thereafter, returned home on their own, hence these elders rather than join the crowd to hail the clans' rascals, were merely reflective and cautious.

The oldest person in the land elder Wisdom, whose teeth had nearly all gone due to old age was heard saying the rebels had forced their way into the ancestral groves to steal mysterious kola nuts reputed to have seven billion lobes which keep growing and growing when a lobe is taken and said the rascals must each finish their lobes!

In APC's rancorous house the enemies and traitors alike increase every day, but something needs to be done:
Enter, Brutus:
There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.
Julius Caesar Act 4, scene 3, 218–224